Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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