i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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