The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
