So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
