if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
