So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize