I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
