hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
