Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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