WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
