Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
