there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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