I met the friendliest cop last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
