If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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