he thought i was a dude.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
