I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
