You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
