My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
