You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
We're too hungover to prance.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
