Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
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i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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