dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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