Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
