Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
