The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
