went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
