you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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