Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
