My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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