i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
