I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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