I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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