If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize