I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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