People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
