your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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