just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
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i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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