i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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