i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
