I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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