What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
