maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We just shotgunned beers for America
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize