my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
