non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
