Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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