were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
