Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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