There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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