I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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