Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
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