they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
