nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
