oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
operation harelip BJ is a go
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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