How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
