how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
