someone get that fucking seahorse.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
