She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Houston, we have a squirter
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
