a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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