her vagine was all disorganized.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize