Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
