That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
