she was so not down for the gang bang
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
