did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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