speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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