So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
