I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
